Another week, another deluge of headlines, hot takes, and fresh drama in the gaming multiverse. Grab a banana (or a Black Bolt ETB if you’re feeling lucky) and let’s break down the juiciest news you might’ve missed:

## Donkey Kong Bananza: The Switch 2’s First Killer App
Let’s not bury the lede: Donkey Kong Bananza is officially out and, for once, the hype train didn’t derail at launch. This is DK’s first new 3D platformer since the N64 era, and it’s already being hailed as the Switch 2’s must-play system seller. Critics (and we’re not just talking about paid shills) are throwing out 10/10s like bananas at a Kong family reunion. Easter eggs, throwback levels, Pauline as a playable sidekick—it’s all here, and it’s exactly the flex Nintendo needed to show off the Switch 2’s beefier hardware. If you picked up a Switch 2 and *didn’t* buy Bananza, are you even alive?

## Nintendo Switch 2 Is Breaking Records
Speaking of the Switch 2: it’s officially the fastest-selling console in U.S. history, with 1.6 million units sold in June. 82% of those buyers also grabbed Mario Kart World, because apparently “bundle” is just another word for “you have no choice.” Nintendo’s also announced a new bundle with Pokémon Legends: Z-A, so if you missed the Mario Kart deal, here’s your next chance—assuming you can find any stock that isn’t already being scalped for rent money.

## Pokémon Presents: Z-A, Mega Evolutions, and More
Nintendo dropped a new Pokémon Presents, showing off Pokémon Legends: Z-A and confirming the return (and expansion) of Mega Evolutions. Mega Dragonite is real, and it looks like Dragonair’s more photogenic cousin. There’s also a new Switch 2 bundle for Z-A, and apparently, you’ll be able to play the game on both Switch 1 and 2 with cross-gen features. The Pokémon TCG market is still chaos, with Black Bolt and White Flare ETBs finally restocking... for about double the original price, because Pokémon fans are gluttons for punishment (and cardboard).

## Wuchang: Fallen Feathers Soars (and Stutters) on Steam
If you’re a soulslike sicko, you probably noticed Wuchang: Fallen Feathers smashing through 100k concurrent players on Steam at launch. That’s a monster debut for a non-FromSoft soulslike. Unfortunately, it’s also getting review-bombed for some pretty rough performance issues. If you’ve got a potato PC, you’re probably stuck waiting for a patch, but if you can run it, the game’s combat and level design are earning it high marks from the masochists who love dying in style.

## Xbox Studios: What’s Dead, What’s Next
Microsoft’s layoffs continue to cast a shadow, but the Xbox first-party slate isn’t entirely DOA. Gears of War: E-Day, The Outer Worlds 2 (now back to $70 after that $80 pricing faceplant), and Avowed are all on deck. Meanwhile, the Perfect Dark reboot and Everwild are toast, The Initiative is dead, and Turn 10’s Forza Motorsport team has been “shuttered” (their word, not mine). If you’re keeping score, that’s a lot of canceled checkboxes and not enough new games announced.

## Battlefield 6: Leaks, NATO in Peril, and a $80 Price Tag
EA’s finally rolling out Battlefield 6, with a campaign teaser showing NATO under attack and a new villainous faction called Pax Armata. The leaks say it’s out in October for $80 (because apparently, $70 is for peasants now), and there’s an open beta coming. No early access for the Phantom Edition, so you can save your extra $30 for... literally anything else.

## Magic: The Gathering’s Final Fantasy Set Prints Money
Hasbro’s latest financials just confirmed the Final Fantasy MTG set raked in $200 million in a single day—matching what Lord of the Rings did in six months. If you’re wondering why every IP on Earth is getting a Universes Beyond expansion, there’s your answer.

## Sony Buys a Chunk of Bandai Namco
Sony just scooped up a 2.5% stake in Bandai Namco—yep, the Elden Ring publisher. They’re calling it a “strategic partnership” to push anime and manga globally, but if you think this won’t eventually mean more PlayStation exclusives and even closer ties to FromSoftware, you haven’t been paying attention.

## Lollipop Chainsaw Returns (and DEI Discourse Ensues)
Dragami Games announced a Lollipop Chainsaw sequel and anime, and issued a weird flex about not “imposing excessive creative restrictions in the name of DEI.” Translation: expect more chainsaws, less subtlety, and probably a lot of Twitter threads.

## Other Notables
- WWE 2K25 on Switch 2 is missing community creations, and fans are not amused.
- Out of Words is shaping up to be the next must-play co-op for folks who finished It Takes Two and need a new friendship-tester.
- Painkiller and Killing Floor 3 are bringing the mid-tier, brain-off, demon-splattering FPS action back with zero shame and zero live service FOMO (praise be).
- Double Fine made Brütal Legend free for 666 minutes to honor Ozzy Osbourne, because sometimes the universe just gets it right.

## The Takeaway
The Switch 2’s launch window is turning out to be a masterclass in “print money, print games, print more money.” Meanwhile, the rest of the industry is either bleeding staff or bleeding players, with a few bright spots (Wuchang, Bananza, Final Fantasy MTG) keeping the hype alive. If you’re not playing Donkey Kong Bananza this week, you’re either stuck in a restock queue or you just don’t like fun. See you in the Challenge Courses.