Welcome to the Week in Gaming, Where the Only Thing Hotter than Poké-mania is Epic's New V-Bucks Pricing

Strap in, gamers. It’s been a wild ride this week—Nintendo’s stock is soaring, Fortnite fans are revolting harder than a Team Fortress 2 update, and Bungie’s Marathon is determined to teach you the definition of "friction" (whether you like it or not). Let’s break down the biggest headlines and what they mean for the games you’re playing, the money you’re spending, and the memes you’re inevitably posting.

Pokémon Pokopia: The Sales Juggernaut Nobody (Except Everyone) Saw Coming

Nintendo and The Pokémon Company are channeling their inner Professor Oak—literally. Pokopia, the Switch 2-exclusive life sim, has sold a staggering 2.2 million copies in its opening weekend, sending Nintendo’s share price on a Snorlax-sized jump. Physical copies are so scarce that Amazon jacked the price to $80 just to see if you’re paying attention. Investors are calling it a “dark horse” and a “viral hit,” but let’s be real: it’s Pokémon Animal Crossing Minecraft. Of course it’s a viral hit. The only surprise is that you didn’t preorder two copies.

But wait, there’s more! The Pokémon Company is hiring real-life ecologists with PhDs to help design future generations of pocket monsters and their habitats in Tokyo. That’s right, your years spent memorizing animal classification might finally pay off… if you’re fluent in Japanese and own a lab coat.

Fortnite: V-Bucks Up, Fans Down

Epic Games just hit players with the classic “it’s not you, it’s our bills” excuse. V-Bucks are getting more expensive, battle passes give out fewer currency rewards, and Fortnite Crew subs are getting less bang for their buck. The response? Players are bailing on subscriptions, threatening to skip the next season, and turning Reddit into a bonfire. Epic’s explanation? “The cost of running Fortnite has gone up a lot.” Translation: Kim Kardashian and Harry Potter collabs aren’t cheap, fam. Still, you can now play Save the World for free on Switch 2—so you can grind for loot instead of grinding your teeth over price hikes.

Bungie’s Marathon: The Extraction Shooter That Loves to Hurt You

Bungie finally delivered the first major patch for Marathon, making the notoriously brutal extraction shooter “slightly easier” (translation: you might actually find some ammo now), but they’re not backing down on their vision of AI enemies as “friction.” The devs say they hear your feedback and are listening—but also, “No plans to change that direction.” If you like your shooters with a healthy dose of pain, this is your new home. For everyone else, there’s always Slay the Spire 2.

Slay the Spire 2 Flexes on Steam, Aims for Silksong’s Throne

Mega Crit’s Slay the Spire 2 crashed into Steam’s top 20 most-played games of all time, peaking at 574,638 concurrent players. The devs are playfully gunning for Hollow Knight: Silksong’s numbers and promise: “We’re microtransaction haters.” Someone, somewhere at Blizzard just felt a chill down their spine.

Battlefield 6: Record Sales, Layoffs, and Listening (Allegedly)

Battlefield 6 sold seven million copies in three days, but the post-launch honeymoon is over. Steam reviews are dropping faster than a noob in Conquest, and EA just laid off staff across all the major studios. The devs promise they’re listening to your feedback “for a very long time,” which is PR-speak for “please don’t uninstall yet.” On the upside, a free trial is coming next week so you can sample the new Nightfall mode before deciding if you want to stick around for Season 2’s Hunter/Prey update.

Console Wars: PlayStation Pulls Back from PC, Steam Machine Looms

Sony’s getting cold feet about putting its big exclusives on PC—possibly because the Steam Machine (Valve’s long-rumored console) could run God of War and Spider-Man, and potentially on the next-gen Xbox “Project Helix,” which is basically a console/PC hybrid. Meanwhile, Bluepoint’s Peter Dalton thinks the real threat is Valve, not Microsoft. Stay tuned for more "who’s eating whose lunch" drama as next-gen hardware inches closer.

Crimson Desert: PS5 Pro Looks Great, Still Waiting on Base Consoles

After weeks of “let us cook” memes, Pearl Abyss showed off Crimson Desert running smooth on PS5 Pro. Base PS5 and Xbox footage is still MIA, and fans are flashing back to Cyberpunk 2077’s launch. At least you can get a free copy if you buy a new AMD Ryzen CPU. Who needs a graphics card when you can have a dragon?

Quick Hits

• Capcom’s Pragmata demo has over 2 million downloads. Maybe they’ll actually release the game this decade?


• Pokémon TCG’s next expansion, Chaos Rising, is official, and preorders go live soon. Scalpers, start your engines.


• Magic: The Gathering’s Lord of the Rings Commander Decks are finally back in stock—just in time to drain your wallet.


• PEGI is slapping all loot box games with a 16 age rating across Europe. EA FC, your time has come.


• Mega Man’s voice actor won’t return for Dual Override, citing Capcom’s refusal to do a union contract. Expect a lot more AI voices in the future, for better or (almost certainly) worse.


• Phil Spencer retires from Xbox after 12 years, leaving behind a complicated legacy and a Game Pass that’s no longer “the best value in gaming.”

The Meme Watch

A secret Resident Evil Requiem website was nabbed by a Gabe Newell fan before Capcom could use it. Capcom, if you’re reading this, Gabe Follower will give it back “for free”—just ask nicely (and maybe throw in some Steam gift cards).

Coming Up

- Watch for the next big Fortnite season and see if Epic blinks on V-Bucks.
- Battlefield 6’s free trial launches as Season 2: Nightfall brings night maps and a chance for EA to win back some goodwill.
- Crimson Desert’s launch is days away—can it dodge the Cyberpunk curse?
- GDC is in full swing, so expect more AI-fueled, buzzword-laden press releases than you can shake a 16GB graphics card at.

That’s it for this week, folks. If you made it this far without rage-quitting, you’re already tougher than most Marathon runners. See you in the lobby—and don’t forget to bookmark VainSoftGames for all your weekly gaming news, snark included.